Have been awake all night and like a fool, am now thinking all the wrong things. Like how exams are getting quite close and how I'll have to hunt around for an internship in about 2 months. And again I'll have to battle Delhi roads morning and evening, actually driving a car, something that seems like such a chore when I'm in Pune... and this ride being supplemented amply in misery quotient due to self not knowing which road leads where. Fuck. And will my new boss like me. You know, have noticed this disturbing trend wherein none of the places I've worked at have really liked me. Sure there was this one office where lots of people liked but that was only because we tanked up a lot after work. And another place where this guy liked me but only because he was looking for a gurrrlfriend. Why he thought I'll even deign to look at him beats me. But really, like the cream of the corporate culture doesn't like me. Apparently I seem too casual or aggressive, both unwanted qualities. And I also take too many cigarette breaks. And not having a dick and all that, the more you smoke, the sluttier you are.
Man. Not like these revelations don't give me unnecessary tension. But earlier I would be so charged up with the idea of interning now it's all like zilch. I'm just hating the idea of work because it's conflicting with my manali plans. And Manali I will so do this time as it's getting real embarrassing to tell people that I've never been there. It's really too far from Pune. And when I have money, it makes sense to get somewhere faster, like Goa. Not like I'm bored of Goa but I've just got to go north. Will be fun.. getting lost, not where how to score, where it's safe to smoke...nice.
So bottomline is that I just don't feel like interning this time. But cribbing also makes zero sense as I will just not go on some trip without doing any work. I'll have such massive guilt trips...hmmm...can only imagine how terrifying they'll be..
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We are shifting into a new place hence crunched for money as Pune brokers are confirmed chuts. So there's a real scarcity of maal. Like we are actually discouraging each other not to score. Also the little thing of exams getting closer. I can smoke and go for an exam but not hit the books while smoking. It makes you too sleepy to give a flying fuck about Evidence.
But we are still smoking. From friends and small scoring from shady bad maal places. But it's just not enough for me to abuse it.
Recent trip to Boombay has confirmed my allaying suspicions that all Bombay smokers are fucking twats. They always have maal when you are not in their vicinity, very suspicious behaviour. And whenever you land up in their city, it's apparently dry season ( fuck, when is it ever wet. Been 1995 since I heard of some good stuff in that shithole), or they've lost touch with the peddler who just happens to put out anything under the sun in other good days. Balls I say!
If you don't smoke enough, why can't you just fucking say it. Now fuckwits have been showing off about every shit possible, this will get added to the list too?
Totally believe that these chuts have totally fucked the vibes by doing their oh-I-just-got-this-nice-cream and c'mon guys let's get together with bees hazaar ka dj kit and send Skazi crying back to Israel. Why don't they just shut up!
Are Bombay people ever smoking anything other than Manali? And they have some crazy story of someone scoring some crazy shit from a narco, or someone else taking thirty acid or something and really tripping their balls out. If you had the fucking mental strength to handle that much acid you motherfucker, you wouldn't be sitting in front of me pissing me off like few other people have. Why can't you just shut up and pass the smoke and listen to the music? Like really, you're the next Goa Gil and fucking naga sadhus are seeking appointments to smoke a chillum with you, but just shut up ok. So bad man. This whole competition mentality. I wish all of them just disappear.
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Have a lot of things planned for this year. Man hope everything works out well, apparently my best years are getting over so I hereby declare to go out with a bang.
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These cops are making me nervous. I think all of us look suspicious. Then how the hell will we manage to get out stuff from the hills. It really baffles me, just heard of this trick, will probably try that. But just the planning and everything, makes me nervous. I guess trains don't get checked at all hmmmm..how can they check so many people? And so much luggage? Cops have so much free time man. What are these gentlemen doing when women are getting raped hailing a cab or something. Money makes the world go round my friend.
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I really wanted to write a scathing analysis on this whole Raj Thackeray episode. But it's gotten old now and I forgot a lot of the points and am also not that pissed anymore. Met this UP taxi guy in Boombay and when he can look at the situation logically being the one getting hammered on the streets, I suppose I can too stop resorting to extremist political ideas formulated in the comfortable cocoon of my bed. Why are urban people like us so full of it? So many theories, so many political bracket. Why, the paan waala next door is smarter than us. Smarter than you that is. Not me. Hahahaha
Thursday, February 21
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