Friday, August 17

Cosmo says..

Cosmo says that single women in prime years of their youth are usually depressed and working too hard, hence they feel an emotional void in their bodies. This they compensate by having way too much food. Now I believe Cosmo. Cosmo's my Bible. Because it's finally happening! Life lately is just about food. I need something when I wake up, then I storm around the house making appropriate noises so that the cook gets the 'be quick' message clearly, then for dinner I eat more than what the 2 men in my house eat, and then I fix another dinner, not a 'snack' darlings, while I'm awake at night. And then at times like these, I wait for the Bakery to open which is at 6 30. Fuck. I have never ever eaten so much. Do I have an emotional void??? Barrrrfff. There could be some truth in this argument. No matter how much I try to convince myself that this is all because I don't eat lunch and do so much running around the whole day, such as sitting on my ass and watching sit coms on the laptop, it still feels weird.
Now I can proudly say that I have never asked a man if I look fat in this or that. But I think it's time. Because very soon, I'm going to get very fat. I can see it happening. This girl I knew used to make fun of fat people and then she just bloated up. Now I don't exactly make fun of fat people, but if someone has pissed me off and they are fat, then I won't let him/her forget their body proportions for the next 2 months. Oh god I'm cursed.
Or maybe I just feel hungry because there's usually no food in the house. Now flat mate No 2 drinks every night and hence needs company. So he calls some dumb bakra types to entertain him and those chuts finish off the food. And I wake up to see nothing in the fridge. I do admit it pisses me off but flat mate No 2 is such an easy going guy that it almost feels criminal to lay down my wrath on his simple forms of after dusk pleasures. Now earlier I had it real good because my ex used to rush to the Station freezing his balls off on the trusted Enfield. Now even he's useless because honey, since we aren't doing it anymore, what's the point of all these slave-like errand jobs right? Yes right!
Hmmmmm. Now it doesn't worry me that I'll get fat because it's genetic. I'll be thin forever. But hypothetically, if the laws of genetics tilt against my favour, I'll get fat and ugly by the time I'm 30. And Cosmo also says that women reach their sexual prime when they hit 30. So that means that I won't be my usual aloof I-don't-need-men-and-sex-to-invade-my-space person. So all the people and situations at my rejection table right now will com back to bite me in the ass. Because no one likes a fat and frustrated 30 year old woman unless you're legally supposed to by the laws of matrimony. This sucks. And my personal life experience has taught me if you reject something once, you always want it later and then you don't get it. Always. So this is so going to happen and my life is doomed. But look at the bright side. By that time I'll be rich enough to have waffles and cones everyday for breakfast and can be fat in style.

So cool. The Bakery opens in another 45 minutes....

Monday, August 13

I'm bored and bored and BORED. Everything is just another level of boredom.And the men are just so darned stupid. We had nothing to do today.. so funny flatmate called up 4 different car brands and asked them for a test drive. He started quoting budget of 20 lakh or something while the other flatmate pretended to be his secretary. So the whole day was spent in driving Corolla and then the Civic and how he just wants black because all his cars are black. Man. He's so stupid. Last I checked he had 4 grand in the bank and doesn't he realize that these guys are going to drive him crazy starting tomorrow with incessant sales talk. But that is planned as well. He's going to tell them both that he decided to buy the other one. But I admit it all sounded funny after the weed. And the Civic is a goodie car. God I thank the brilliant guy who loaded That 70's show on the computer. At least I don't have to grind my head to such crap. And Ashton Kutcher is so cute. That's one!! Or not..

Well this is really sad. I've been thinking about the whole men thing lately. All these idiots start treating you differently after you end something. But it's so tiring. To listen to them trying to get into my pants by pretending to be emotionally sensitive or something equally ridiculous. I have decided never to end my dry spell. There's just no point because I'll just hate them after some time. Like the ones before. After I realize that they are messy and expect me to feed them. Or after they get stupidly possessive at parties because there are other men around. Or whatever. It just sucks. Now I'm only going to get into something after torturing them for at least 1 year. Just to make sure. Yeah..that sounds like a plan.