Thursday, September 25

One leg of the placements is over. I still can't believe I actually got in, No, I have no ill-disguised ideas about my genius, but I spoke like such a rabid feminist to a panel of 3 men that it wasn't funny. Yes, Punjabi men kill little girls. Yes, you men are doing all these horrible things. We had it so tough man. There are various ways of female infanticide, strangling underwater being the most popular. I admire Medha Padkar. Really now. That last one is embarrassing, I was also asked about the woman I admire, the answer to that question will NOT be revealed on this blog. It makes me sound like a Miss India finalist. But originality doesn't come easily when you forget how to frame normal sentences out of nervousness.
Hmmm. I never thought I'd be looking out for a job. Not so soon at least. And not to boring as being a lawyer in some firm working 8 to 11. I secretly hoped that I'd give in to my psychotic tendencies and leave my 5 year course midway to do something bizarre. But it never happened. I'm too chicken for an alternative career. The problem is when you don't really know what else you can do? I'm picking out my city of choice like a raffle ticket, it doesn't help that I'll probably have 1 best friend and 4-5 people I steadfastly ignore living there. But when I started this wild chase before coming to Pune, looking at these 5 years all seems well spent. I pretty much got everything that I wanted out of this time in my life. So hopefully things to come won't disappoint.

Che told me that I just need him, and habit is never enough. I don't know how to make him understand. The whole idea of love has been cheapened now, god knows how many people I've been in love with at different points of time. There is no way to know if I value someone for their presence or for who they are. Momentary comfort has always worked for me. But this is permanent. And most of the times, there's nothing comfortable about it. Maybe he'll get it one day. Love is okay, but need is better.


jerry said...

You don't quite seem the lost little girl I knew. :) The second half was quite strong. Hope you're well. Good luck with the placements.

lostlittlegirl said...

lol. Now is that good or bad.

life_as_a_box said...

okay so seriously....who's the woman you look up to???????? I'm fucking curious man...hehe. Very brave of you to stick up for your kind in front of three lecherous punjabis. Taaliyaan!