Friday, October 17

I don't want to grow up

I've been vegetating. Even when I take a break these days, I'm still thinking of all the running around in store for the next 6 months. Maybe I just cannot work too hard, been out of touch with it for too long. And the thought of all that effort really scares me. So I'm deluding myself thinking that all I need right now is lots of relaxation and minimum activity, but ho hum, I'm bored of lying in bed all day. Have been in Delhi for 3 days now but haven't let anyone know. What's the point. I don't feel like going out or socializing. Lately, everyone I know in Delhi are just lost connections. I can't relate to most of them, call it late realization or whatever. Except some, every person seems not worth the effort.
It frustrates me to not be satisfied with any city, or any person. I'm going to be in Bombay soon, and will crib about that as well. I just hope it doesn't come to me taking the local. I swear it takes unrealistic drive to take that option. So all I'm thinking of is where all I need to go before I graduate, after all this work is over, after I get a job otherwise I'll be too guilt ridden to go anywhere. Hmm. You never know, maybe I'll be so dejected that I'll just run off for a bit.

mm. Goa. In January. NOT in December
Jaisalmer
Kodaikanal
Gokarna
Maybe Hampi once more. Want to see what it's like season time. Although I get the feeling that I won't be able to squeeze it in this time.
Pondicherry
Ladakh in April
And Krabi

Will definitely cross check this in June. How much will I accomplish in so less time? It almost hurts now. That I won't have so much time to waste ever, or to travel so much more. I can stay awake to watch sunrise and go back to sleep. To know people in their best phases of their life, before money jobs and life takes the joy out of them. No matter what they say, we all will get painted the same way. I miss my dog... he'll always take me to a happier place.

12 comments:

Electric Shaman said...

That's utter hogwash my dear woman. Money only adds to the fun in your life. Trust me, you don't need to worry about budgets and all that junk anymore. You travel alll you want (and sometimes after you have learnt the ropes you can get the employer to fund your travel ;))

You absolutely can watch the sun rise and then go to bed. I do that sometimes (albeit only two nights a week). But you end up having much much more fun. You hang out with real men and women not people caught up with angst and trauma and trying to go on some path to self recovery.

Bottomline- Life is simpler and much more fun once you start working.

LostLittleGirl said...

Hmmmm. Sochne waali baat hai. I'll catch you if it all goes wrong buster

bobo said...

To know people in their best phases of their life, before money jobs and life takes the joy out of them...

that certainly seems to apply to the vast majority of lawyers. the next bit too. :)

Shriya said...

Maybe a break to Ooty Mudumalai or kodaikanal will help

you can see some of my bandipur mudumalai wildlife / bird
pictures
at http://www.wildlifesanctuaryindia.com/wildlife/

you can see some of my kodaikanal pictures at http://www.kodaikanalhotels.com/

zypsy said...

"To know people in their best....takes the joy out of them."

Not really. As far as I know, money & job gives you a lot of freedom to do the things you love. Take traveling for example, you can travel almost anywhere without worrying much about the cost, or without any guilt over spending ur parents' money!! Weekends are ALWAYS off unlike school/college days, there are no exams....:-)))

Yes, the responsibility part comes in the way sometimes but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying life.

As for the cities, delhi was my first choice when i started working. then pune, now bangalore. But himachal still remains my top choice for the post-retirement years.

So don't worry, everything will fall into place on their own:-) btw, thanx for ur wishes!!

Shriya said...

go get a job as a travel expert or a travel reviewer
will help
or become a professional photographer

LostLittleGirl said...

bobo: Yes, weirdly it does. But I still think that I made the best choice, well..most times :)

zypsy: Since you put it that way, it does sound bearable. I hate this mystery, will I suffer or not. lol..
I've been in Pune for 5 years now so it was never an option for me. And delhi is umm.. dunno, will get really useless if I stay at home. Let's see. Himachal was on my post retirement plans as well, but I'm leaning towards the sea front now

Shriya: Hmmm. Wish it was that easy..

The Dude said...

Feel not unsatisfied and unhappy lost one, life is what you make of it.
whether you choose the money and power path or that angsty one is at the end of the day your choice and you have to live with it.
The catch in all this is to try and figure out and be honest with yourself about what matters to you more. Do you want prestige, money, position, freedom, simple home, mansion, whatever. Think it over, pick one and go with it.
Life has a wierd way of finding itself, often pissing you off no end on the way!

to once again quote adams, "i may not be where I wanted to be, but maybe I am where I needed be."

If you ever get bored in Delhi and need to get out, drop me a mail.

Cheers.

Anonymous said...

and i'll probably say the worst (usually when someone finds themselves in a friend's anonymous blog) -- do you mean me (when you say delhi connections)?

LostLittleGirl said...

dude: Yes I know. Figuring is a greater part of this game, wish I knew what I really want. Will drop you a line :)

Anon: I meant except some. But who are you tell mee

utopia said...

i don't know whats better? being broke in college but having all the time in the world to travel or having money ( not as much u want though) with hardly anytime to travel. but yeah one tends to loose oneself in this so called rat race of for wanting to earn the big bucks before me turns 35 and yada yada yada! but u know what u'll still have fun if u really want to despite the mundane routine.

clueless comrades said...

Goa~ Not on Republic Day weekend.

Jaisalmer~ Definitely check out Sam's dunes

Ladakh~ Go straight to Nubra valley.

Kodaikanal~ Ive been dying to go there, do lemme know how it pans out