Wednesday, November 15

Bell Jar

I think often on how much it would take to understand some people. To be around them and hold their hand through everything while you're losing your mind in secret. To understand all that they say without ever posing your own thoughts. Fighting for their rights until you go hoarse. Explaining...explaining...all that you could have made better. The empathy that was still wanting. The left-overs of your wishful suicide while you're busy mending someone up. And then...you're just in that rut forever...
Now you're built up in his mind, as the protector. As the one who'll take me out of the blaze because it's the usual. The one who'll be scalded because she's strong enough. Because by now she's ceased to exist for herself.
I'm so very tired now...with the voices in my head which are never let out..all the time I lost which could have been for me ... all that could have taken me out of this ... with too many people as strangers .. and watching your mistakes backwards till it blasts you in the face ...and nowhere to fuckin go ... and hide till you see nothing moving ... no one hungry ... and begging ... to cut out your piece to feed it to him...
Imagining no people.. no wanting eyes .. hands ... words ...
Maybe now there will be freedom ... to feed herself.

7 comments:

K said...

The long comment is in the last post. All I had to say here is that I prefer Forever Young if its Baez we're talking about.

jerry said...

hmm...

LostLittleGirl said...

I have to admit I'm at a loss by your comment...not talking about Baez at all, rather Sylvia Plath..

clit.chatting said...

when do we see more??

The Dude said...

very nice...
hits home a little, yknow?

Dhrupad said...

plath displayed some what of a basic immaturity in the way she wrote bell jar... even though it was hailed to be autobiographical it seemed to me to be too... how to phrase this.. "ted hughes-esq".. she was yet to ripen, some what like the difference b/w stevie ray vaughn and jimi hendrix.. while the former is refined and slick.. the latter has the main appeal due to his rawness and like sylvia , untimely demise.. the respective value of art or literature always goes up after the artist goes...
"ariel"is more mature and intense . {peace}

LostLittleGirl said...

Dhrupad: Being encapsulated in a bell jar is fascinating...
Even though Plath's first attempt is quite obviously immature.. it matters in the sequence of her works because that is where it all started.. it was Ted who made her, ahem..'intellectual', now you probably prefer the refinement, I would still identify with the rawness...
The asylum gave us Ariel.. and as a woman, I understand that better than you..:)
I agree with you though that most of her enigma is because of her suicide, 'She found death quite romantic'...