Monday, November 5

Bye bye capsule

So this is it. I was hoping to do this for some time and tonight has been a decent catalyst. This blog is over. And it makes sense to me too, what do I write about lately anyway? A lot of people here can translate what they feel in better words. But no matter how bottomless I feel, it still looks less sinister on paper. That bothers me. I started to blog thinking that there's no one I can actually talk to. So maybe I ought to try this. You have so many terrible secrets, spill it out anonymously and no one will know. But it wasn't so simple. Even something as simple as this has been page 3-ised by too many people. Some ar apparently publishing books over their fictitious online personalities and people are buying it. What does that have to do with me? Nothing much, except that it riles me up. The hesitant thought before you think of telling someone that you feel they are full of crap riles me up. You as it is can't do it for real, now is it so difficult to do it with masks on too? That bothers me.
I did it because no one knew me here. Especially a certain someone. Now if I count, 5 people reading this blog know about my identity. Not that I'm writing of my bedroom escapades with assorted strangers, but it still bothers me. It's because when you write something as random as this, I really do not need the wrong people to read half of it and fill up the other half with what they judge. That in itself should have stopped me long time back. But I didn't, and I poured some more and now the shit is flying off the wall.
Maybe there's nothing wrong with anyone at all and it's just me. It's probably just me. How come I develop newer issues with every medium? How come my randomness gets me into trouble everytime?
It's just predictable. The moment something starts to make sense, it's taken away from you. Not that I'm being honest here anyway, so fuck it. It's too late to call anyone, and there's no one to call. Now that's an honest admission. I wouldn't tell anyone that. Would I tell anyone that I can feel something creeping from behind? And that nothing feels good anymore. And that after loving my body for some time, I feel like damaging it again.
Have read some interesting people here. Will miss someone else going like oh, I so know what you're talking about. So it's back to capsule.


whitelight said...

make few trips to Bombay. we can discuss some music here.

big eyed fish said...

the page3-ization riles me up too. and a lot of other people i believe.
based on similar notions, i had decided to shut shop too, in the face of all this senseless crap. but then decided against it because it really doesnt matter. it doesnt matter if there are people who can write the same shit and make it sound poetry, and it doesnt matter if people i know find out about it, and it surely doesnt matter if it fails to make any sense.

the principal objective is to write. that is all. its probably different for everyone of course, but for me it helps to restore a sense of perspective and reminds me not to take things too seriously. sort of a mental mirror.. to objectively look at your own self without the contradictions of internal dialogue and without the pretenses of the external.
all the rest is secondary and not really of much consequence.

and i'm not trying to convince you not to stop, or prove something here. i'm just.. bored :)

bobo said...

toodles. hope your capsule has decent sanitation. :| :)

lostlittlegirl said...

whitelight: Will do that.

big eyed: Even I did it for posterity, to build up a perspective. Now I'm too confused. Maybe I need a new page. Or maybe I'm just bored. Drama. Hahaha

bobo: lol. Don't be cryptic.

The Dude said...

hey lost,
im sorry to hear that yourre planning to shut down this blog, specially due to the fools that use this as just another cheap tool..
big eyes fish has pretty much summed up most of what I was going to say so im not going to lecture you on your decision, the purpose of the blog as I see it is to express yourself freely and openly and interact with like minds and people who interest you.
sure there are the page 3 types out there and the first signs of them were why i dropped my first blog (yes, the one you know now is infact my original reignited..) in fact theres a link on my blog to a blogger named indranil who also felt the need to stop but found so much support from friends who read his blog that he recently restarted.
maybe i wouldnt feel so strongly if i knew you offline, but i guess i blog to express and interact and the ones worth interacting with are few and far between. i like to think i can count you among my friends, we share a kind of rappport.
if you feel you must shut this blog, i wont hold it against you. but dont do anything else that youll regret or that will take your unique voice and perspective away from the world.
there are too few like you and me and our fellow honest bloggers, so dont let the others get to you. ;)
take care and make sure to let me know should you decide to make a new blog in the event of this one being discarded.

bobo said...

oh, i wasn't being cryptic at all.

you don't want rashes do you? hm? hm?

LostLittleGirl said...

dude: I like the fact that you can be so vocal about everything, it's rare :) really felt nice to read all that.

Bobo: Er no, I don't. I definitely don't. I have enough ammunition to take care of's a luxury capsule.

Electric Shaman said...

Yaar.. you seriously need to relax a little. Shit! I read your blogs and I always invariably end up visualizing someone getting so worked up and speaking so fast shes running out of breath. So chill out, dont write a blog and fuck everything else (and if you can do all that lemme know how!!)

elusive said...

if ure careful enough i don't really think people can find out who u are unlesds u r sum1 reaallie popular. u could also dish out some stuff that never happened to you to confuse those holmes and 007bond kinda people.
and c'mon at the end of the day for anonymous bloggers like us, blogging is cathartic. it's for our own sake that we maintian a blog. so blog on..