Monday, May 12

Cheese is healthy if carbs are low

Er. Why is everyone on this insane health trip? It disgusts me. This friend of mine wants to be a model so he's given up wheat completely for the next 2 months! That means he doesn't eat bread, roti anything. Of course he claims that he's giving it up only for the next 2 months so that he achieves the perfect drool-worthy stomach, but judging from his past record of obsessiveness, there's no telling how far he'll continue this madness. I like to describe my sinfully unhealthy meals to him in detail so that life becomes unbearable for him. But he's got such ridiculous self control, he likes it if I exaggerate the taste so that he can make his mind stronger. God, that sounds as dumb as Gandhi sleeping with nubile teenagers to check his will power.
But I'm impressed by this incredible stupidity. And I seem to know a lot many of these freaks. Like best friend's brother who came to Pune and wanted the customary darshan. I took him to German Bakery because um..I don't go anywhere else. I know I know it's supposed to be some fruity health place .. they have pita and 'fresh' fruit juice ( balls! )cold coffee with no added sugar..everything made in brown bread. Basically anything you eat there feels like it's just been uprooted from some farm. It sucks. That's why the only thing I've ever had there are croissants and coffee. But that freak, who I thought would certifiably hate that place because of the white trash plus college smack addicts of Pune frequenting that place, he shockingly couldn't stop salivating. He went on to bore my eyeballs out by going on about the health benefits and calorie count of this and that. And then giving added gyaan on my unhealthy diet and why I shouldn't smoke if I ever want to hit the gym. Apparently it cancels out the benefits. Who cares. Who says I want to live till I'm 80. No one wants to be an 80 year old who wasn't 'adventurous' enough to eat butter chicken all her life.

I like people who work out. I like people who do anything I'm incapable of doing. So whenever I'm going for breakfast in the morning after staying awake the whole night, I always smile with guilt watching the purposeful joggers and gymmers. But anything upto a certain limit is good. But not when you don't eat aloo ka paranthas because it's unhealthy. WHAT THE FUCK. Are you Indian or what you goddamn pansy. These people are satisfied with eating bird food all through the day, stuff like cucumber slices and sprouts blah blah. I wonder how much of human working hours get wasted because these retards spend them on preparing meals that take more time and effort owing to them being uber healthy. Like the kind of salads these freaks eat, the effort that takes in procuring these ingredients depresses me. Are you trying to tell me tofu is easily available? These people clearly have a lot of faaltu time to decide on what has minimum damages and then set out to find that and then make an unappetizing meal out of that. I was stuck at that guy's house in Bombay and was starving for lunch. He was happily eating a bowl of sprouts with carrot juice. As if that's food. As if that will give you enough energy to do anything productive. Ya, sweetheart, I eat this only. *insert gay I wanna be a model momeeeee smile* I knew you wouldn't eat this. You're so unhealthy. You'll regret it sweetheart. Er, hell yes I won't eat that you fruitcake. Where is my risotto.
Also this whole thing of how I'll regret it. What exactly will I regret? That I'm having 3 square meals a day. That I'm fighting against urban stress, exams, stupid people, bad weather and am giving myself the required energy to do all that by having proper food. It makes me sad to see this. We all see people everyday who would be thankful for any nutrition, any food. Why are things so twisted that the ones who have the means are just not interested.If you're so health conscious, why don't you donate your wasted food to someone else? But no, they'd rather spend it on personal trainers and one membership because that gym is good and another one because that one has a better pool.Whatever. I guess everyone's entitled to spend their money in whichever way but some things are just too unfair.
Maybe I would think differently if my body required me to work out? I know if I get fat, it'll send me on a religious trip to the gym.
Still, I'm never going to a gym. Only after I'm 30.
My discovery for today is that cheese is very healthy. So I was being a good girl and I didn't even know it. But it doesn't matter if you have bread with it. Hmmm. There goes my dream of living on bread cheese and wine and still look fabulous.


The Dude said...

Well, what can I say that you havent already said so well in this awesome post!
So... Here, here!!! (round of applause and happiness at finding a like minded person and a female who thinks this way which surprises oneself even more!)

Anki said...

hey if u really are around law college road... cud meet up
lemme know

LostLittleGirl said...

hello dooood. Thunk you! Don't you just love the dilli weather these days..

The Dude said...

tell me about it! first day it rained cats and dogs, I ran home from work, locked myself into my room and then stepped out and just lay back on my balcony to enjoy the rains..
I just love rain, feels like no matter what happens, it washes away everything.. sigh.. if only it would rain more often maybe id be more upbeat and happy!
.. (ok, maybe not, then Id be one of those irritating chirpy folks that I want to smack upside the head sometimes... :P)

Div Rathore said...

i ended up reading ur blog cos i love the song- diamonds and rust. and am completely bowled over by the way you think and write. if i could write the way you do, i'd probably be penning down exactly the same thoughts.

bobo said...

i'm not exactly a live to eat type, but yes, food should have a certain.. density to it. :)

always enamoured by the louisiana creole cuisine, for one thing - of course, being veggie has its limitations vis-a-vis choice.

gah, college is blocking your blog. :(

perplexed said...

awesome post.. i couldn't agree more about every point you made!

'No one wants to be an 80 year old who wasn't 'adventurous' enough to eat butter chicken all her life.'...haha!!

Abhishek said...

You want to starve yourself so that other find you desirable so that you feel desirable. But this desire is just a social construction anyways. So the other person will desire you, not because you raise some deep, honest emotion in him, but because that's how he's been programmed. Its all reflections and mirrors. It always has been.

Ps. Butter Chicken lub.

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